he walks through the door, a smile on his face...how far?....i smile...he says won't you give me a hug or aren't you happy to see me? if only he knew... i proceed to give him a hug. hug me well jo! he scolds i laugh as i hold him tighter... i am having dinner so we sit at the table..he takes the sit opposite mine...i can feel him watching me...i think nothing of it... we talk for hours about everything and nothing... at times i feel this energy this tension...i wonder does he feel it too? we are in my room...on the bed. joking and gisting.
i am asking him questions (having come to the conclusion that men are aliens i needed to try and see some things from a male perspective..) he's too close..i stand up, push somethings around on the dresser and sit on the opposite side of the bed.. i wonder if he notices that i'm moving away..but i can't...i don't trust myself. what has always been harmless flirting seems to be taking on a different form on my path.. i cannot LIKE him!! thats not part of the plan!!! as he moves closer i realise i do....
how can it be?! when did i begin to see him differently? what do i do......
so begins this journey.