First Love…..

“Don’t ever marry your first love….” This is a statement I heard a few days ago that I think will remain with me for a while.
The lady who said this is a friend of my older brother…she uttered this statement on one of her visits to my mums office. She married her first love…he did her so so so wrong. Can you imagine living in the same house with some-one you loved…love and not speaking to each other. (She lives upstairs and he stays downstairs whilst the children shuffle around) This man calls her by the name of other females… is sleeping with one of her friends (probably more than one). This arrant lack of respect on both their paths has led her to come to the conclusion that the relationship cannot be salvaged and divorce is the only option.
This caused me to think about my first “thing” (I’m not going to call it love cos I honestly don’t know) to say this boy showed me pepper is an understatement!!!! Funny thing is I didn’t even want to “go out” with this boy (lets call him Jake). We were friends but I never saw him as anything but that… but Jake was very persistent even getting people to talk to me on his behalf... Eventually I caved... for a while it was good… till it was bad….horrible infact this boy cheated on me ehn as in…even one of my friends that was putting in word on his behalf when I was resisting his advances was even one of his “conquests”. He would always come back…no matter where he went he always came back…he’d apologise, beg…I always caved I was in love… I had boys hollering at me from left right and centre (much better candidates sef) but it had to be him…he was all I saw...this boy was my first every thing…first kiss….first partner in body no be fire-wood activities, first break up, first….. It went on for so long…too long many more “friends” were conquered... More tears were shed... loads of apologies... it took all I had to let him go. But deep down I still haven’t completely… I think it’s because he was my first…or maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment… this leads me to a question that has been on my mind for a while: why can’t (most) women have sex without equating it with love? And are you really bound to your first partner in body no be fire wood activities? Cause if Jake popped up AGAIN and acted semi normal I am sure it would take a conscious effort not to fall back into that horrid cycle. The experience with my first wasn’t good neither was the lady’s… is this the norm? Is your first love your true one and only love & you both live happily ever after only in Disney cartoons and movies? Is it even right to call him my first love? did i even know what love was..is? is there an age limit on when one can fall in love?
Is there any truth in the statement made by the lady or is she just a scorned woman spewing anger?
Feck i need to stop...I may have just opened Pandora’s Box…. Not good for my idle mind….


Butterfly kixxes,
Technicolour Dreams